You know I’m going to talk about it, right? I mean, everyone else is, why not me? I’m human too, and a geek… and oh never mind. You get my point.
To be honest, I don’t know what to think. Could be yes, could be no. Either way, at some point who are we to judge. If it is true, then what is the harm. It’s not like he is letting her get away with murder or something or putting others in harms way, right? Doesn’t he have a chance at happiness too? Sure, she might be something of a villain or an anti-villain (it's a grey area sometimes) and he is the worlds most recognized hero. It wouldn't be the first match I would put together. But didn't Romeo and Juliet start that way.... and end tragically. OK bad example. But there must be a half dozen stories of people who fall in love and find themselves on opposite ends of a war or a family feud, or a cross universal encounter who then have to ponder life without that extra-normal entity from another earth. And Who hasn’t dated someone who was so totally wrong for them?
Guys, you all have had that one relationship that showed you what you don’t want. You had that person that you thought was great until you realized that you were up to your necks in poison or apathy. Or you got cold cocked by her looks, her demeanor, or that sweet smile only to find that ugly is to the bone, nice has it's own issues, and that sweet smile can sometimes hide the bile of bitter resentment and expectorated parental issues. Don't get me started on the ones who, let's face it, are just kind of crazy, looking to settle down far too fast, demanding a baby on the first date before revealing that deep down they just want to harvest you genetic structure for mad scientist experiments brought on by lizard people secretly trying to rid the world of humans that have that one specific marker that you happen to be carrying. Who hasn't that happened to? (David, if you are reading this, I agree. High school was weird and I never really liked Annalee that much anyway.)
Ladies, come on. You too. You have had that one that you had to run screaming from even though you were with that person for how long? A few years? A few dates? Decades? They could be a secret abuser, controlling, ill equipped for the romance, far too devoted to other people in his life or just won't come out of the closet. I knew a friend of mine who dated a man who turned out to be a bex invader in a skin suit. That didn't go well. Then after that, her next boyfriend was seduced and almost destroyed by Amy Araziel on one of her less psychotic days. Her next relationship eventually came out of the closet. They are great friends now, I'm told, and still fight over men. [So if you happen to be in San Niebla area and are looking for something stable, let me know. I have two people looking for the best men in town.] I know for some people things are different, but if you were not in that relationship, you know others who were. Right?
I myself, I had to deal with a girl who seduced me and was convinced that she was the child of Oberon and Titania. (The characters from Midsummer's Night’s Dream not the sadistic being that claims to be the last of the dark fae folk currently sealed in a magic lamp incarcerated in Graves Penitentiary. She was very adamant about it. ) She tried to convince me of her divine heritage, her power as a magician, and her frailty as a human shell. She also claimed that I was bearing the weight of guilt of inadvertently causing the destruction of Midean, the lost place of monsters. (For those who don't know, it's a story from Clive Barker.) Being young and stupid, I followed along for a while until I realized there was spiritual, open minded, a certain quixotic self identity that you had to appreciate, and then there was bugnuts crazy. There are those who don’t understand the difference. The sex might have been clouding my judgement somewhat. I’m glad I had a mentor who could see it from a mile away. It helped that he once dated a woman who claimed that he was a high priest of Atlantis. Considering that the modern Atlanteans are staunch followers of an unnameable deity from beyond the stars, he didn’t believe her for a second.
(Note, a friend of mine remarked that everyone who was "reincarnated from Atlantis" usually was a king, a princess, a high something or other. Where the hell was all the Atlantian janitors and agrarian workers? On with the show...)
Still, there are people out there who make it work. I have known polyamourists and monogamous people who have gotten married and bred. I can't say how long the average marriage like this has lasted but for some it ends with a nice cup of tea and a reasonable conversation and for others it ends a rain of hell fire. I have known multiple religions, different political affiliations, and on the rare occasions, different genus and species to have great relationships. We are talking humans and elves here, people. Stop watching those other things on the internet people. It's not good for you in those quantities. (Note: I always thought elves taking a human lover was like having a great pet from the elves perspective. They live for thousands of years, don't they? If anyone has studied the, what, 4 known cases of elves, please let me know. It fascinates me to no end.) There is some debate if Humans and Metahumans are still in the same species, but most of the rhetoric I have read on the matter is more than a little racist. Don't google it. Really!
Is it really our business if they are an item? Like i said at the top, they aren't hurting anyone, are they? What if he is a good influence on her? I know, you could counter the opposite but how many temptations as this man survived over the years and still doubled down on his philanthropic philosophy? Doesn't that earn him one time caught with his hand in the cookie jar, so to speak? Call me crazy, but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
So, let's address the other side of the equation. What if it’s false? Then this is just either a misunderstanding by the masses in general.
It wouldn’t be the first time. Remember when that sex tape got released on the internet that people were sure was Glory with some unidentified male? To this day, she claims it isn’t her but a good double, even after a company released it as a DVD, “One Night of Glory.” Later, it was revealed that Dollhouse had manufactured a lookalike body, even though there were “experts” and “conspiracy theorists” who would show “evidence” to the contrary. Here now is an innocent meta-celebrity who has to deal with nagging rumors for the rest of her life because of one lousy frame up. I’m also accusing those who went nuts on this yet didn’t blink an eye when Starstruck intentionally “leaked” her own video with actor Thompson Crabbe. Further proof that you should never outshine that woman.
We live in a world of shapeshifters, illusionists, magic, super-science, evil twins, and strange doppelgangers. Who can tell who is actually doing what in front of a camera? Sure the footage shows her powers in use, and his for that matter, but as we know from Burlesque, powers can be faked with the right technology.
[Edit: I’m being told that people don’t know about Burlesque, formerly known as Madam Quantum. According to several back channel lists and obsessive compulsives I call friends, She was there during the Infinite Quantums event a few years ago, going by Madam Quantum and claiming to be his child from another universe, possibly from the Vuldrox Empire that he mentions visiting in in his memoir. Later it was determined that not only was she not his daughter, but was his long lost GF from the Vuldrox using space opera tech to replicate his powers. Last I hear, she was in the Big Easy, or Archway fighting for sex workers and women’s rights. Everyone caught up now? I forget how much is not known by the public. Sorry about that.]
So really, it could mean anything.
I know like any mass media obsessed followers of the god-like celebrities out there, we will watch every second over and over again. We will argue points, forget the principles we thought we were addressing in the first place and settle into long standing beliefs that none will able to shake.
Until the next major scandal comes along.
Whatever. If you are looking for an opinion from me, your humble chronicler of the issues of the day, I wish them the best, if it’s true. We all need love in our lives and we all need something that give life that spark we can never fathom until we touch it and breathe it in. If it’s not true, I’m going to keep the picture from Action Magazine on my wall. If nothing else, it’s gorgeous.
Good Luck, Doctor Quantum and Water Witch. Either way.
Keep Dreaming
Daniel
Edit: I’m told there are those out there who don’t know who Water Witch is. Come on, people! The internet is made for more than porn… Like this blog, for example.
I guess I should mention who she is. I’ll add it to the wiki.
Sorry all.
I know many of you have been asking me a lot of questions, or at least thinking a lot of questions loud enough that I can hear them. For those of you who are projecting telepaths, please stop. It's getting hard to sleep at night. I get the questions all the time: When are you writing again? What's with the delay? What happened to you? What happened when you got to Space City? Did Semper SubRosa contact you again? Should I get that rash looked at by a professional.
First off, Yes. That rash looks nasty and I don't think topical cream is going to do the job this time.
Second, I haven’t written in a while for a several factors. First and foremost, do you have any idea how heavy book boxes are? My wife and I are something of bibliophiles and currently without the assistance of Klldozer or Brian. However, that didn’t take the most time. Job hunting has provided the greatest distraction until recently. Kay still toils as a Pharm Tech in an environment that she tries not to mention makes her wish she had pyrokinetic powers, a flame based costume, and several shots of strong liqueur. Instead, we are opting for occasional glasses of wine, Epson salt baths, and a variety of low calorie mint ice cream. I keep lighters away from her right now, just to keep the ideas from her head. Seriously, if you know of an opening in the industry in Space City, please let us know. Please!
I have been getting off and on jobs and after months of looking might (i stress the word MIGHT) have something significantly long term that we can finally get an apartment. This place that we found we move into at the end of the week after a long time in searching. No one told us that three major and dysfnctional slumlords masquerading as viable companies decided Space City was the new hotness for the rental market about 2 years ago. They then bought as many properties as they legally could, jacked the rent and destroyed livablity for those in them unless you were staggeringly rich. (Yes, we have the staggeringly rich here too you know. It's an energy town after all.) Add this with the 92% occupancy rate and well, the hunt was just that, a hunt. Thankfully, we found a place that seems good. Wish us luck.
So, I want to get back to writing but looking for a job, looking for an apartment, loosing 50 lbs, and trying to keep sane with the massive change in life isn't easy. I'm also working on longer mediums, namely one novel (which is finishing edits soon and cover art soon) as well as a series of novellas based on the accounts of various heroes and the stories i have been getting from the net. Be on the look out for those in the future. Rest assured, I will mention it here, on my facebook page, and the other modes of communication that i need to register on so you will know when it arrives.
Oh, and thanks to a number of artists, I have more FAN ART coming your way! Be on the look out!
Thanks all. I'll keep you informed.
Keep Dreaming
Daniel
Our second to last stop took us the farm home of an old friend of mine. Just outside Augustyn, my friends Gabriel, Ellie, and Ellie’s kid, Brit, bought several acres of land that they are attempting to turn into a fully functional, self sustaining, and isolated farm. This isn’t to say that they are farmers, not primarily. He’s a delivery guy and she is an IT wizard. Not exactly what one would expect to become people of the land, but the vast number of cantaloupe plants and sprouting fruit trees sing the praises of their agricultural abilities.
After phoning to tell them when we would arrive, and making our way down the less than maintained Texas roads, they met us at the beginning of the dirt road that served as the driveway to their ranch style house. When they saw our car, they immediately waved. At first i thought it was just friendly welcoming to their abode they loved so much. Then the waiving exploded into frantic gestures and her young one jumping into the air. She was hard to miss with the radioactive magenta hair and more face studs than professional jeweler wearing his merchandise. We put the breaks on fast and rolled down the window.
“Hi.” Ellie said. “Yeah, you may want to stop there.”
I bunched my eyebrows. “What happened?” I asked, having no idea what had changed in the last few hours.
She pointed at the sky. “Did you catch that shower we had?”
Our bare windshield only held desert dirt and several bugs, no raindrops. “Nothing.” I said.
“Yeah…” She looked our car up and down, the 15 year old sedan. “You guys don’t have four wheel drive do you on that thing?” We shook our heads. “Then you better get your stuff and lock the car. Our driveway kind a washed away. But welcome to Texas!”
It didn’t take long for us to put our immediate needs into the back of their SUV. Luggage stowed, they gave us all hugs. It was strange hugging Brit. She had been a quiet 7 year old when last I saw her. Now she was looking at animal training college and a part time job as a goth go-go dancer. The parallax took a bit to get used to. For that matter, seeing friends after such a long time made me appreciate the changes. Gabriel (whom everyone called Gabe) had gotten just as bald as me and acquired the physique of a retired ball player. Ellie alone looked the most like when I saw her last, with only a new pair of glasses and a shorter haircut being the only major adjustment. It was good to see old friends again.
They welcomed us into their home Gabe had to check on something outside and Brit being a teenager with a vast network of friends, a poly community to check in with, and need to plug in left us with Ellie who and showed us to our room. The only furniture in the former work space that still stood functional was an inflatable mattress on a cinder block frame, but after such a long journey, we loved it. We talked about life, what had been happening, and the usual catch up that accompanied such a get together as we stowed our gear and tried out the mattress. I have no idea how they did it, but it was damn comfortable.
Ellie apologized for not having dinner ready for us. I have to note that besides being an IT specialist for a major corporation that she asked me not to mention and a farmer, she is also a costume maker for a local children’s theater, minor author, and networking master for various friends. Really, it was ok, Ellie. You have enough on your plate, seriously. (I know you read this. Thanks for your support.) As a way of saying thank you, I made reservations at a mid level restaurant that wasn’t too far away, the Round Robin Cafe. (For a quick review, good food, amazing deserts but never order any of the pies or cakes without ice cream. They send out the grizzled chef with prison tattoos and a meat cleaver the size of his forearm to ask why. We got to see this happen to the family two tables down. They also have hexagonal hamburgers, buns included. Review Over.)
We continued to talk about our move, about why we were heading to Space City. Again she made the case for Augustyn, mostly because she as tired of us being hours away. If Augustyn hadn’t been found like Bridgeton had, we might have just asked to stay a long time, get an apartment, and reroute our material positions to the local capital. It had several universities, major companies that were hiring like mad, and brilliant night life, all of which made it the target for house investors, hipsters, and vultures the west coast cost. Still, it had friends we knew from long ago. I should also mention that she has been trying to get me a job at her company for years. More on that in later entries, as I may have more updates later.
After probably an hour of gabbing, Gabe came back in, sweating like a man chased by zombies fire elementals with bad attitudes. Then again, this was Texas. I remember that being kind of normal for daring to step outside. He was also breathing raggedly, which wasn’t that common. Most of the time anyway.
He came over, put his hand on Ellie’s shoulder, as much for emotional as physical support as he puffed a few breaths.
“What happened?” Ellie asked her husband.
“They are back.” He breathed, trying to smile. It was the “They” that caught my attention. In a world like this, it could be insects, bad weeds, or demented supervillains. Then again, it could just be dangerous combination of misplaced fire ant mounds and shorts. I had to know.
Before I could ask, Ellie asked me what time our reservations was for. I told her and she blushed, embarrassed again, for really no reason. “Yeah, could you move that back an hour or so?”
“Sure, I can try.” I said, holding my phone. “Why, if I can ask?”
“The beast are back again.”
“Did you say ‘beasts?’” Kay asked. “What exactly are ‘beasts?’”
We followed her to the large window facing the back of the property. Off in the field, among the blueberry bushes, things emerged, large, bristling things. At first I thought it was a family of boars which have been known to pester people in the more rural places of the state. But these were huge, more numerous, and very pink.
“We call them beasts,” Ellie told us, “because they aren’t quite boars.”
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged pulled her phone from her pocket. “As far as we can tell, someone around here used to be a pig rancher who died. We don’t know who because, according to local legend, they ate his corpse. Eventually they broke free and roamed free. They found a group of boars and got on like a house on fire. Now they are like death machines with a vast amount of back bacon.”
We watched the beasts strip several blueberry bushes clean as Ellie dialed.
“Hi, this is Ellie [name withheld] at [address withheld].” She said into the phone. “ Can you send over a druid again? We have the pig things again.”
Pause.
“Yeah, the, um, you know, pig-boar, um things. You know the Swine-things of Unknown Kaddath.”
Pause.
“Great! How long?”
Pause.
“Thanks again.” She hung up.
“‘Swine-things of Unknown Kaddath?’” Kay echoed.
“‘A druid?’” I repeated.
“What?” Ellie said as she slapped her phone back into her pocket.
“Don’t you guys have the Druids Union out on the coast?”
“We were never that close to farming communities.” I admitted. “But I had seen ADF circles and knew people who call themselves druids. That’s a religious thing right?”
She twitched her head, an affection held over from her day of explaining tech to executives who never wanted to admit they had no idea what she was talking about. “Well, yes and no.” She in an easy chair while we watched the Swine-things devour another bush. “If you ask Brit, she’s a druid, but mostly she is pagan. You know how it goes.” We did and nodded. “But then there are those who got meta abilities but had no interest in putting on a cape. Most of them saw it as an opportunity for extra cash. So several plant manipulators, animal speakers, and shapeshifters and formed the Druids Union. They are kind of invaluable and reasonably priced.”
“They are metas?” I asked again.
She shrugged. “Mostly low power ones, you know. The kind who just want a nice middle class life and not much else? Don’t get me wrong, they are helping people around here. You should have seen the neighbors when they had a rattlesnake infestation. Ever see snakes flee in unison, like a whole sea of snakes?” She broke apart in a laugh. “Oh you can’t even imagine how many snakes we have in this county, or did at least.”
“Mom!” Brit called from her room. “I think we have swine-things again!”
“I know!” Ellie called back. “Thank you.” She sighed again. “Knows every member of Timberwolves for the last 40 years but can’t look out her damn window.”
We sat and we talked over cold drinks while we waited. The recent rains made the air sticky but not hot, like a cold sauna if such things existed. We talked about job opportunities, the local gaming groups, and again, she asked us to move in. Before we could answer, there was a knock on the door.
“That’s them.” She said and got up to answer the door. I looked at my watch. It had been 20 minutes. I can’t even get a pizza delivered that quickly.
On the other side of the screen door stood a kid, barely more than 20. He wore a simple white roble which looks like it had attracted it’s fair share of mud, coffee stains, and blobs that I assumed were blood. The billowing hood masked his face for a second, though I could see the obvious soul patch and an attempt at a goatee surrounded by half-hearted bristles. The massive plastic framed glasses slid down his nose as he stared at his phone.
“Yeah…” he said, like the traditional way to start a sentence. When did that become a thing? “You, like, ordered a druid?” I practically expected waves of pot smoke to come billowing out of him.
“Are you Ceredwynkalutha?” Ellie asked as she tried to match the boy with his profile pic.
I took a moment for the words to register with him, like his buffer was full before he answered. “Wha… oh yeah… Carey, please.” He swiped on his phone something. “So, like, you are having what? Pig trouble?”
“Swine-things.” Ellie corrected. “Can you do something about them?”
Again a pause, waiting for his invisible universal translator to get back to him or something. “Whoa, swine things? Yeah...I can do that.”
“Good.” Ellie said, motioning that he should come through or around. “They are out back eating the blueberries.”
He stood again, motionless.
“You know, the swine things?” Ellie prompted. No motion. “That I hired you for?”
“Standard rates apply and do not provide for any destruction or possessery experiences that may occur. The Druids Local 435 cannot be held responsible for whatever instances the principles was not prepared for but is free to make any complaints on the website, localdruids435.com.” He said it all like he memorized it for just this eventuality so he could cover his ass legally. “If you agree to theses terms, I may begin the assigned duties.”
Ellie sighed. “I agree. Now will you get a move on?”
“Wha…” He said. “Oh yeah the pigs. On it ma’am.” barely looking up he walked around the house, stomping through the mud. Ellie closed the door.
“That asshole is going to help?” Kay asked as Ellie walked back to the large windows, crossing her arms.
“He better.” She said, watching.
Carey made his way around back and just trudged past the house. He barely registered the loose earth and sucking quagmire unless one of his Reeboks got stuck for a second. The Swine-things saw him coming, turning their angry heads to watch the interloper when he cursed at the muck. Wailing cries of unheard of shrieking species mingled with the unearthly bass as each of the things roared their disagreement to his presence. He sighed.
“Think this one will get killed?” Gabe asked his wife.
She Shrugged. “Maybe.” She estimated. “He better not for what we are paying.”
I looked at Kay at the casual conversation of body count. “Ex-military, huh?” She giggled. Ellie and Gabe had both spent time in the service.
“You know Gabe couldn’t cook for a long time.” Ellie said, her eyes still peeled on the scene outside of an ungodly Mexican stand off. “He had an epiphany one day when he figured out how a recipe works.”
“It’s just like making an explosive.” Gabe smiled that wicked grin of his. “The correct ingredients in the correct proportions in the correct sequence. Now I can bake like a tiger!”
“You should try his raspberry scones… whoop! There they go!” Ellie shouted over herself as the swine things charged the lone robed figure.
Carey raised his hand in the traditional ‘please don’t kill me’ gesture, hands flailing like jazz hands. The swine ignored him, howling with hungry rage and rushing towards him.
Until the druid yelled “Whoa!”
They stopped, blinking. Something behind their eyes flicked, not computing the situation.
Carey turned to the window, his hands still waving in hipster equivalent of archaic gestures. “Hey!” He called. “Do you know the Paulsons?”
Ellie shouted back. “No. Why?”
Carey returned his attention to the horde and commanded, “Go bother the Paulsons! Buzz off!”
As a unit, the swine-things rushed into a curve and found a new direction away from the house. They eased past the remaining bushes and jumped past the fence on the north side of the property. I had no idea that pigs could jump that high. Or boars for that matter.
I heard him mutter, “Freaking orcs, man. Just like freaking orcs…,” before following his footsteps around the house. His foot got stuck in the same place too. Ellie and Gabe greeted him when he got to the door.
“That should take care of them ma’am.” He said causally before reverting to his rote speech. “Local Druids #243 would like to thank you for your patronage.”
He fished out his phone and asked for a signature. Ellie gave it and Gabe gave him a scone for his trouble. The latter was appreciated with a “Dude, thanks, man.” Then he left, stripping off the robe so he could ride his bike to his next assignment. I don’t know why, but his Rush t-shirt made it even more surreal.
“Now, when is the reservation?” Ellie said, clapping her hands.
We just stared at her.
“Oh don’t look so shocked.” Gabe said laughing. “It’s not like Bridgeton is the only place with metas.”
I shrugged and told the the stories of what we saw as we headed to a great dinner.
Keep Dreaming
Daniel
